Is Ryan Lochte Telling the Full Story about his Robbery?

Is Ryan Lochte Telling the Full Story about his Robbery?

A personal, non-professional, opinion regarding a serious non-event, which the swimmer has now admitted was a lie

A personal, non-professional, opinion regarding a serious non-event, which the swimmer has now admitted was a lie

Text: Ian David Monroe

UPDATE: Lochte has recently admitted that he fabricated the whole event, but the question still stands: Where is the merman's wallet? 

There is something suspicious about this Ryan Lochte robbery story. If you’ve been following closely, or even just succumbed to watching Bob Costas ramble on about absolutely nothing while America’s finest compete for gold (you wouldn’t actually know they were because NBC never seems to show it), then you’re be well-aware that the Olympic swimmer claims he was robbed at gunpoint after visiting a Rio nightclub.

After watching the footage of Lochte entering the Olympic village looking happily drunk after the alleged hold up, I’m dubious. And so are a whole lot of other people, which is why police in Rio are detaining two of the other swimmers involved in the incident. While they wait out an investigation, I’d like to give my personal (and non-professional) opinion: Ryan Lochte had his wallet stolen by a prostitute.

Yes, I believe that after a purchased romp in Rio, Lochte got stiffed in all the wrong ways. I also believe he lied about the event to his mother because who wants to tell their mom they paid for sex? I’m not saying Lochte is extremely intelligent, but I do think he at least knows how embarrassing that would be. However, he clearly didn’t expect his dear mom to go on and tell the world, which is how (I believe) this whole mess started.

In Brazil, prostitution is legal. Just ask Justin Bieber, who got filmed while asleep after a night with a sex worker. Bieber took it in stride—mostly, because I doubt few things actually embarrass him. Listen, Lochte. Just confess you made the whole thing up, and pray that Brazil has no extradition agreements with the U.S.

Honestly, had Brazil treated the whole thing as a non-issue, we'd probably not even be talking about it, but there is national pride playing out here. For a country bent on proving itself as a world power (hence the hosting of the Olympics when completely underprepared), Brazil has fallen a bit into the Streisand effect—whereby claiming innocence, they've only brought more attention to the situation. There's nothing wrong with defending yourself, or a whole country, but sometimes it's easier to let it go.

Where this circus ends I don't know, but, hopefully, it's soon; women's diving is tonight, and I can't imagine listening to Bob Costas sensationalize this again.

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